"Blind Joni" wrote in message...


John,

I have some biblical questions... (Laughable, I hope...)



1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?


2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?


3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.


4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the
odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?


5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
myself, or should I ask the police to do it?


6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination
- Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?


7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect
in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have
to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?


8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their
temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?


9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean,
but may I still play football if I wear gloves?


10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in
the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds
of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together
to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Et Al, ad infinitum...

John,
I have some biblical questions... (Laughable, I hope...)

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the
odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him
myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination
- Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't
agree.
Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect
in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision
have
to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their
temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should
they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean,
but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in
the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different
kinds
of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a
lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole
town together
to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family
affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Et Al, ad infinitum...


Since you are so informed of the Old Testament, have you gotten to the New
Testament, yet? It explains that we are no longer under the "Old Law", but
of course, you would know that being as intelligent a human being as you
are.

On Thu, 09 Dec 2004 23:32:02 GMT, "squig"
wrote:

John,
I have some biblical questions... (Laughable, I hope...)

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the
odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him
myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination
- Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't
agree.
Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect
in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision
have
to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their
temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should
they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean,
but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in
the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different
kinds
of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a
lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole
town together
to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family
affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Et Al, ad infinitum...


Since you are so informed of the Old Testament, have you gotten to the New
Testament, yet? It explains that we are no longer under the "Old Law",

Then why do Christians still read and preach from the old testament.

Al

"squig" wrote in message
...

Since you are so informed of the Old Testament, have you gotten to the New
Testament, yet? It explains that we are no longer under the "Old Law", but
of course, you would know that being as intelligent a human being as you
are.


Christianity should be renamed "Pick&Choose".



--

-Hev
find me he
www.michaelSCREWspringerROBOTS.com

squig wrote:

Since you are so informed of the Old Testament, have you gotten to the New
Testament, yet? It explains that we are no longer under the "Old Law"

So why do so many fundamentalists continue to quote the Old Testament (when it suits their purposes)?

"Kurt Albershardt" wrote in message
...
squig wrote:

Since you are so informed of the Old Testament, have you gotten to the
New
Testament, yet? It explains that we are no longer under the "Old Law"

So why do so many fundamentalists continue to quote the Old Testament
(when it suits their purposes)?


Don't know. You'll have to ask them.

Kurt Albershardt wrote:
squig wrote:


Since you are so informed of the Old Testament, have you gotten to the
New
Testament, yet? It explains that we are no longer under the "Old Law"


So why do so many fundamentalists continue to quote the Old Testament
(when it suits their purposes)?




Beacuse the bible is the ultimate flip floppers guide to self delusion
you can either support or denounce any position if you know your bible
well enough
George

I'm waiting anxiously for my brother to kick the bucket, so I can fulfill my biblical
obligation to marry his hot blonde wife. Some of them old testament rules ain't so bad.

--
Stephen Sank, Owner & Ribbon Mic Restorer
Talking Dog Transducer Company
http://stephensank.com
5517 Carmelita Drive N.E.
Albuquerque, New Mexico [87111]
505-332-0336
Auth. Nakamichi & McIntosh servicer
Payments preferred through Paypal.com
"Kurt Albershardt" wrote in message ...
squig wrote:

Since you are so informed of the Old Testament, have you gotten to the New
Testament, yet? It explains that we are no longer under the "Old Law"

So why do so many fundamentalists continue to quote the Old Testament (when it suits their
purposes)?

LOL!

Al

On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 16:23:48 -0700, "Stephen Sank"
wrote:

I'm waiting anxiously for my brother to kick the bucket, so I can fulfill my biblical
obligation to marry his hot blonde wife. Some of them old testament rules ain't so bad.

D'oh...!