[Phil Allison]

** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?


My favourite:


Mick & Paddy were walking home from the pub late one night and took a
shortcut through a local graveyard.

While taking a much needed pee, Mick noticed a old tombstone that read:

" Here lies Angus McTavish a Scholar and a Gentleman ".


Amazed, he called Paddy over to take a look and pointing at the words said:

" Just like the miserable, bloody Scotts to put three corpses in the same
grave. "


...... Phil

[Iain Churches[_2_]]

"Phil Allison" wrote in message
...
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?




One with a Scandinavian flavour.

Paddy gets a job as a forester. The foreman gives him a
motor saw and sends him off into the forest to cut his daily
quota of forty pines.

Paddy comes back at the end of the day, totally exhausted,
with only twenty trees cut.The foreman is not pleased.

Paddy goes out the next day at dawn, and returns at dusk,
totally nackered, with only thirty trees cut.

The foreman is not pleased, and says to Paddy "If you
can't do better than that, I shall have to let you go". He
picks up Paddy's saw and asks. "Are you managing OK
with this?" He pulls the starting cord, the motor bursts into
life, and Paddy, startled, claps his hands over his ears and
says "What's dat terrible noise?"

[Ross Matheson]

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes

A stranger walking throuigh a village asks the way, and distance, to the next.
Paddy sez he don't know. The stranger walks on. Miles away, he hears a shout.
Looking back, he sees two figures in the distance. He waits an hour, or two...
They catch up. Finally. It's about time...
Paddy introduces his mate.
This is me mate Sean!
"He duint know, either!"

[Ian Thompson-Bell[_3_]]

Phil Allison wrote:
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?



Hear about the Irish parachute? Opens on impact.
Paddy thought Aer Lingus was a sexual activity
Paddy thought muffin the mule was a sexual offence
What dopes an Irishman wear to the beach? Peep toed wellies.
The Irish planned a space ship to go to the sun. To overcome the heat
problem they decided to go at night.

Cheers

Ian

[Eeyore]

Phil Allison wrote:

** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day

Apparently NOT in Ireland. You're 2 days late.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7300466.stm

Rev Martin Long, a spokesman for the Irish Bishops, said it was a "very, very
unusual" step but due to the early Easter, the Church was celebrating the feast
on Saturday, two days early.

"The reason the solemnity of St Patrick was moved from 17th to the 15th is
because it happens to fall this year in Holy Week," he says.


Graham

[Ian Thompson-Bell]

Eeyore wrote:

Phil Allison wrote:

** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day

Apparently NOT in Ireland. You're 2 days late.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7300466.stm

Rev Martin Long, a spokesman for the Irish Bishops, said it was a "very, very
unusual" step but due to the early Easter, the Church was celebrating the feast
on Saturday, two days early.


Typical underhand bog trotter trick ;-)

Cheers

ian

[keithr]

"Phil Allison" wrote in message
...
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?


It isn't a *good* irish joke but it is the *ultimate* irish joke:-

Andre Jute

[E M F]

"Phil Allison" wrote in message
...
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?


My favourite:

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb??
One to hold the bulb, and four to drink untill the floor spins.
..........................GC

[Andre Jute]

On Mar 17, 6:46*am, "Phil Allison" wrote:
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day *- *who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?

Seeing as this is a DIY conference, I made my own St Pat's Day joke,
with Worthless Peter Wieck and local self-declared "computer experts"
in the starring roles:
http://groups.google.ie/group/rec.au...40705a9b443bb1
It's turned into a massacres but that's what the punters want.

Andre Jute
Bread and circuses every holiday -- Gaius Germanicus aka Caligula

[MarkS[_2_]]

"Ian Thompson-Bell" wrote in message
...
Phil Allison wrote:
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?



Hear about the Irish parachute? Opens on impact.
Paddy thought Aer Lingus was a sexual activity
Paddy thought muffin the mule was a sexual offence
What dopes an Irishman wear to the beach? Peep toed wellies.
The Irish planned a space ship to go to the sun. To overcome the heat
problem they decided to go at night.

Cheers

Ian

I love the parachute joke! That's one you can insert the "ethnic of your
choice" into.
Mark

[ZACK]

whats black and hangs from the celing?
an irish electrition.

"Phil Allison" wrote in message
...
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?


My favourite:


Mick & Paddy were walking home from the pub late one night and took a
shortcut through a local graveyard.

While taking a much needed pee, Mick noticed a old tombstone that read:

" Here lies Angus McTavish a Scholar and a Gentleman ".


Amazed, he called Paddy over to take a look and pointing at the words
said:

" Just like the miserable, bloody Scotts to put three corpses in the same
grave. "


..... Phil

[Ian Thompson-Bell[_3_]]

MarkS wrote:
"Ian Thompson-Bell" wrote in message
...
Phil Allison wrote:
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?


Hear about the Irish parachute? Opens on impact.
Paddy thought Aer Lingus was a sexual activity
Paddy thought muffin the mule was a sexual offence
What dopes an Irishman wear to the beach? Peep toed wellies.
The Irish planned a space ship to go to the sun. To overcome the heat
problem they decided to go at night.

Cheers

Ian

I love the parachute joke! That's one you can insert the "ethnic of your
choice" into.
Mark



There is anotther one in the same vein.

Did you know the Irish invented the toilet seat? 10 years later the
British improved it by putting a hole in it.

and then there's this one:

Paddy and two mates were digging a hole in the street. His mates sent
Paddy to the chemist to get some condoms. When he gets there the
assistant asks what size he wants. 'Better make them extra large' says
Paddy, 'there's three of us in one hole.


Cheers

Ian

[Peter Howard]

"Phil Allison" wrote in message
...
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?

Jootoh was bicycling home from the pub, ****ed as usual, when he collided
with a standing stone by the roadside and fell down. Striking a match, he
looked at the stone and exclaimed, "Faith and begorrah, dat feller lived to
a ripe old age! His name was Miles from Dublin and he was ninety seven."

PH

[keithr]

"Phil Allison" wrote in message
...
** Hi to all,

Seeing as it is St Pats day - who has any really funny Irish jokes to
celebrate it with ?

Two Irish building workers found dead at the bottom of a tall scaffolding.
It was the foreman's fault, he was telling them how his dad used to fly in
Wellingtons during the war.

[Dr. Atul Bhatla]

These are great irish jokes.
HAHhahahaha

Atul
www.shugle.com