[Bret L]

How to improve Men's Figure Skating

"Watching biathlon, which combines cross country skiing and rifle target shooting, it occurred to me that the way to make men's figure skating a little less twirly is to combine it with that ultimate regular guy sport, paintball. Each competitor would get one shot at the rival of his choice:

Scott Hamilton: "And now Plushenko's going to try his quad toe loop.
Here he goes --"

SPLAT

Scott Hamilton: "Johnny Weir has shot Plushenko!"

Dick Button: "Right between the shoulder blades at the top of his
jump. Plushenko did a complete face plant in the ice."

Plus, aesthetically speaking, large random splashes of paint could
only improve the competitors' costumes."